Monday, February 25, 2008

Lalit's Fools Party

Tata Nano has been launched recently-as the cheapest car in the world. Aptly named nano means small, it resonates the demand of this era. Don't get me wrong here but 'smaller is cuter' is no longer a cliche these days when smaller HARD Disks are getting popular just like Smaller cars, smaller families, small expectations out of stock market, short tees, shorter hair cuts and the list goes on..
Joining the 'Small' brigade is a new trend or say a phenomenon called IPL- smaller version of cricket. But what has taken a beating here is the kind of money being used to buy these players in a manner not known to modern Indians. Of course we are aware of such practices in the age of kings where people bought people, commonly and disgustingly known as flesh trade.
such a scene appeared before us the day when players were bought by the czars of the industry, be it a beer baron or bolly baron everybody joined the bandwagon and how. Thank the almighty that our superheroes were not present at the grand fiesta . Just imagine MSD standing on the dias and whims like Lalit Modi announcing his sale. " take away for 4 years, do whatever, groom him, play(or play with)him, rest( or rest on ) him the choice is yours, MSD bid starts @$0.5" imagine Dhoni taking a calculator out of his pocket and quickly trying to calculate how much that be in Rs, even before completing it he hears $0.5m, he is erratic with joy some fat ass asks his services for $1m and he grins and says "now we are talking" $1.2m and up and our captain thinks " kya main itna mehanga hun?"and then came a cement company from down south, ending the row and declairing $1.5m. evrybody from the beer king fat ass to shah king smart ass were at awe. Ms zinta announced her fiance " looks like the cement-wala is going to play with only Dhoni coming ten times to bat". I sympathize with Zinta, having to not know what this game is about and sitting there with god-forsaken business men she must have tried to spout out something smarter. Lalit like a good loyal pimp to his highness sharad pawar declare MSD sold to Chennai cement. He wanted to be with mumbai so that he could flurish his romance with deepika padukone yet again knowing that yuvi will be in mohali under zinta's belt( or shoes...or belt) if you know what i mean. But he knows romance can take a back door when $1.5m is in his pocket, he can even survive the deadly threesome combo of anna-sambar-vada.
Then came one after the other gulaboo s some with animal instincts (Andrew symonds), some with history of troubled relations( shane warne) yet some virgin pussies(ishant sharma, yusuf pathan, manoj tiwari etc) in front of tigers like sanath jayasurya, mahela jayawardhane anil kumble...
But theif among theives, cream de la cream were a cluster of cricketers, very near and dear to his highness, his pet courtesans the panch maha bhutas who were bared from being sold. The king and his minister modi pre-appointed them to pleasure the if not the people but the owner of their home states. They are like mistresses who would flaunt her exhibits, make them play and groom them physically to take on the world...tomorrow( if that comes..) and all that, they'll get paid based on their exhibit's income. Saurav wonders after seeing Ishant sharma who being the top catch for kolkata, for the first time that why was he not born in chennai and why was his name not chennaswami purshuraman imanga muthuswami in short CPI(M).
Knowing that his income depends on the highest priced item(Ishant sharma) of the lot which later came out to be much lower than MSDs, though he was unhappy and told shah rukh to buy ishant at even higher price say $2m even though there were to takers for ishant over $250,000; shah showed the prince again that he is a man of men. He promised Dada that he'll make a film with aryan and sana when they grow up.
Even when this over-driven libido conquest was on, ricky ponting pointed out that his worth is much more than naives (kacchi kali) like manoj tiwari.
The drama were too much for veteran player Kapil dev who joined a similar cause few months back but failed to entertain customers. Now withe the advent of IPL every people of this country and beyond are going to be entertained.. crores of bettings, millions of stakes will momentarily stop, pappu will not study for his finals all because our MSD is playing against our Yuvi, not for any cup mind you...but for Deepika.
Not all things smaller looks nice. There are rules and rules should be respected. Harsha Bhogle once suggested on IPL that "only if tomorrow we bring the boundary rope in, in the utterly mistaken belief that more sixes will mean good cricket, 20-20 will become as exciting as playing book cricket."
Cricket controllers in india have shown a poor example in the form of IPL in the name of developing cricket in our nation. People will be entertained but mostly fooled. The same reason why i would not like to be invited to a fool's party stands true for IPL.

1 comment:

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